Thursday, February 5, 2009 7:33 AM
Gun shot.
Damn damn damn.
I seriously hate myself for being so soft-hearted.
I felt so heartbroken the moment I heard you were heartbroken.
Gee. I don't hate you.
If somebody were to ask me, do I have a slightest feeling towards him?
I'd say yes, I do.
I'd never stop loving a person, unless I bloody hate that person.
I've tried my best to weapon up myself.
Be mean.
Be cruel.
Fake a smile and tell everyone I'm alright.
In fact, I'm too easy to be moved.
Damn again.
Please stand in my shoes.
Would you help it if I tell you I like somebody else, while we were together?
Surprisingly I tolerated that, again and again.
And in the end, you gave up on me.
KABOOM!The
teeny weeny little trust I've got had became dust and blown away.
I'm all on my own.
Then I'd weapon up myself in order to protect myself.
I wouldn't want to give a knife to somebody and ask him to stab me straight at my heart anymore.
It was broken again and again. I'd took a long time nursing it.
I tried. I put in hope even if I'd know it's gonna break sooner or later.
Think positive. Think positive. That was what I've been telling myself.
And yes I'm still telling myself that.
I've been hearing stories. I didn't really believe all of them because I believe you're not that kind of arsehole.
Is it me or you think that your face is more important?
You're hot then you're cold.
You wouldn't want to make an effort to gain back my trust.
What's the point?
If you'd really REALLY want to be with me, please put in your effort and tell me you're sincere.
Should I give myself and him one last chance?
I don't know. I'm really helpless.
But I seriously need to be alone for these 2 years.
To concentrate in my studies.
To change myself.
To have a clear view of those who care for me and who doen't.
Who's been lying and who's not.
Who's been fooling around with my feelings and who's not.
Who's been real and who's not.
Who's worth to be friends with and who's not.
Who's trustable and who is not.
To wait or not, it depends on you and you.
I'm so lost. I don't even know if it's right to post this.
Oh wells, I shall start my life all over again.
Let bygones be bygones.
Make sure you're ready before you come into my life because I'll stab you the moment you point the gun at me.